How important is it to be financially equal when dating?

After reading Billy.jay's thread concerning "Is dual income an important consideration when dating and beyond? "
It made me think that others may have the same questions I have concerning finances.

And in my usually no nonsense style it is in the form of yes and no questions , but feel free to elaborate.

1. Are you comfortable dating someone that makes more than you?
2. Are you comfortable dating someone that makes less than you?
3. Are you comfortable dating someone with a higher degree then yours?
4. Are you comfortable dating someone with out a degree?
5. Are you comfortable dating someone with college debt?
6. Are you comfortable dating someone with loans/debts not related to mortgages or vehicle?
7. Should people only date those in their income bracket?

My answers
1. I worry about it
2. Doesn't bother me
3. Doesn't bother me
4. Doesn't bother me
5. Doesn't bother me
6. Depends if they are making an effort to clear it, fine, if not no
7. Undecided

Although I think I am open minded about others and their situations, it has been pointed out I can be pretty judgmental. I do worry about dating someone that is above me financially, socially, and educationally. I desire to be an equal and I am not sure I would be treated like an equal...

1. Are you comfortable dating someone that makes more than you?

• Yes.

2. Are you comfortable dating someone that makes less than you?

• Yes

3. Are you comfortable dating someone with a higher degree then yours?

• Yes

4. Are you comfortable dating someone with out a degree?

• Depends. It's very superficial to judge based just on the presence of a degree. There have been many successful people without degrees. What's most important to me is certainty and ambition.

5. Are you comfortable dating someone with college debt?

• Yes, if they understand that it's something that needs to be dealt with ASAP.

6. Are you comfortable dating someone with loans/debts not related to mortgages or vehicle?

• No, unless these debts were out of their control. I might have a bias but I think if you put yourself in debt when it was in your control, seems like there are problems that I can't work with

7. Should people only date those in their income bracket?

• Nah.

The debt questions are important and I've never really thought too much about them, so thanks for bringing those up. The cause of debt is more important than the debt itself, for me at least.
Meanwhile, when it comes to income, the figures also don't mean anything. I hope I don't date anyone that chose me based on my income or theirs. I do not mind supporting someone I love if it's to support their dreams and ambitions. I've never been a very money minded person that counts every cent (to my parents' disappointment I guess ). While money is a requirement to sustain a relationship, I really hope it's never an integral part of someone's relationship.

Thank you jclsjl!!!! You are my first poster Here is a cake just for you as a thank you

Second.

#1 - #4: Yes
#5 - #7: No

I've never been in debt and paid off everything immediately either through savings or a job income. I don't really like the concept of debt, unless if me and my partner decide to buy an apartment/house. Even with mortgage, there is no such thing as "good debt". I rather work my arse off to pay off morgage asap or just rent cheap and save enough so I can be ready to afford a place.

1. Are you comfortable dating someone that makes more than you?
It depends. If I was unemployed and the other person was making all the income, I would feel terrible and I wouldn't want to be dating because I don't want to be a burden. I just feel bad as a person if I am unable to finance the household. However in a situation that both of us were making money and she made more, I'm ok with that, but if she made enough money for me to become a stay home dad I would feel a little off and useless.
2. Are you comfortable dating someone that makes less than you?
Yes
3. Are you comfortable dating someone with a higher degree then yours?
Yes
4. Are you comfortable dating someone with out a degree?
Yes, because there are instances were individuals aren't able to go to post secondary education which is beyond their control.
5. Are you comfortable dating someone with college debt?
It depends how I feel about the other person and how far are we in the relationship and whether or not we have decided to start sharing finances (which I only see happening after living together and getting married). So I guess no it doesn't matter because for the most part I won't be helping to pay that off. I sound like a jerk but if I had student loans to pay off, I wouldn't expect the other person to help me out either.
6. Are you comfortable dating someone with loans/debts not related to mortgages or vehicle?
As long as its not loans because of poor spending choices relating to drugs, alcohol or excessive spending on needless things.
7. Should people only date those in their income bracket?
No

1. Are you comfortable dating someone that makes more than you? my other half makes more than I do, at the moment. I'm not sure why teachers complain about their income. lol~!

2. Are you comfortable dating someone that makes less than you? that depends on how much less. i'm 75/25 here... i live comfortably alone.... keyword, alone.

3. Are you comfortable dating someone with a higher degree then yours? yes, she has a masters in education.

4. Are you comfortable dating someone with out a degree? this is relative to how much $$$ you're making.

5. Are you comfortable dating someone with college debt?
6. Are you comfortable dating someone with loans/debts not related to mortgages or vehicle?

are you able to make ends meet at the end of the month?

7. Should people only date those in their income bracket? no comment.

1. Are you comfortable dating someone that makes more than you?
As long as he doesn't make more trouble for me. I'm okay with someone who's better off financially so long as he's not so much better off that he can afford to do things that I can't do on a regular basis--even if he's okay with paying, it's a sticky situation to let someone pay for too many things for you. Personally, I start to feel bought, and I don't know where my real affection ends and my "I'm liking you because you're buying me things/experiences, and I feel obligated to return physical and emotional gifts."
2. Are you comfortable dating someone that makes less than you?
I don't make an awful lot right now, but as long as we both made enough so that we could share life experiences together (because some of them DO cost money), I'd be okay. We just have to be able to pool our resources for occasional weekend road trips and twice-weekly boba. Or thrice. Or daily. Can I change my answer to number 1? I want a sugar daddy to buy me boba. It's expensive.
3. Are you comfortable dating someone with a higher degree then yours?
Don't see why not - it might motivate my competitive side and get me back in school.
4. Are you comfortable dating someone with out a degree?
Again, don't see why not. College is an option, and it's not even always the BEST option. As long as he can spell decently and use punctuation and works hard.
5. Are you comfortable dating someone with college debt?
Yes, as long as he's paying it off.
6. Are you comfortable dating someone with loans/debts not related to mortgages or vehicle?
Again, as long as he's paying it off and it's under control. If he has gambling debts that are still increasing... that's a problem. If he has past debts from a bad investment, and is no longer making those investments, that's a mistake, and he's fixing it like a grown up. Nothing wrong with that. Depending on the scope of the debt, that might hinder future financial plans if we got married and needed loans for houses or whatever, but I generally don't think that far ahead.
7. Should people only date those in their income bracket?
All the k-dramas I've seen tell me "no." Sometimes people from disparate income brackets have very different life experiences and expectations, and that CAN make it hard to give your significant other the life they're accustomed to. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to date someone who makes more or less than you, but it's something you should think about.

Well this looked like an interesting one, so just wanted to contribute, I would:

1. Are you comfortable dating someone that makes more than you?

- Don't see no problem, as long as the other side doesn't have a problem?

2. Are you comfortable dating someone that makes less than you?

-I've only ever dated people who earned less, A LOT less, and that can be a bad thing, especially those who would take take take from you. As long as they have the right mindset it's alright!

3. Are you comfortable dating someone with a higher degree then yours?

- I do like intellectual people so no problem with this one, but not come across anyone to date with this respect...

4. Are you comfortable dating someone with out a degree?

- This would depend on the intent of the person and goals etc, as they can be hopeless or hopeful!

5. Are you comfortable dating someone with college debt?

- I've done this and as long as they don't make it my problem too, then all is fine with me.

6. Are you comfortable dating someone with loans/debts not related to mortgages or vehicle?

- This would depend on what they decided to do with the borrowed money - if they had to pay for something important, then ok. But if they went out on a shopping spree, then no.

7. Should people only date those in their income bracket?

- This would narrow down the already extremely narrow choices that I'd have, so no.

On a scale from meh to priority uno, it's about one standard "get your shit together."

bahbah wrote: On a scale from meh to priority uno, it's about one standard "get your shit together."

ah you never disappoint