trying to help my asian guy friend with abondement issues..help asap o.o!!!

so this week Ive been having a great spring break and all. I went to a amusement park wiith my best friend eliiot and his young daughter sophie. his white gf left sophie and him about four yrs ago but I know he has deep feelings for me. but Im taken and so we stay best friends. anyways I noticed he seemed jealous and pissed and giving dirty looks to the wite guys around him. a whit guy stole his x gf/ slash mommy of sophie. he started closer to me and put his arm around my waist. I asked him whats wrong but he wouldnt say.

I said elliot please let me go Im already taken. were best friends remember. he grabbed my hand and pulled me and sophie out of line. I asked him what his problem was. he looked me straight in the eye and said he was jealous of the white guys and the way they were looking at me. I said why does that bother you im not with you in a relationship with you.

he started getting upset and said you know how I feel about you. I want you to be with me and I dont want to lose you to a white guy who cant treat you as good as me. I told him I know. anyways we went to the store the other day. I showed him a picture on a magazine and he wated to rip it up.

I was like you have serious issues Elliot. I tried to talk to him and try to help him ya know. but when I tried to leave he started crying and screaming please dont leave me. I dont know but he also is very stressed about it. maybe he needs meds or something. o.o dont know how to help him. any advice? o.o

stop going around him for a while he will straighten up

his emotion and memories may clouded his thinking and action,this is just i wanna say:S

elliot is now twenty one. I have stated that I am in love with someone else. but its falling on deaf ears. he dosnt want to hear that. after all was there to help him put back together his heart and his broken family. well him and his sophie. he grew very attached to me then and so did his daughter. I just want to help elloit. im his only best friend.

I have stayed away from him for almost two months now. but hes also very clingy. I suggested help but he dosnt think he has a problem. o.o

Selaka Graveraven wrote: elliot is now twenty one. I have stated that I am in love with someone else. but its falling on deaf ears. he dosnt want to hear that. after all was there to help him put back together his heart and his broken family. well him and his sophie. he grew very attached to me then and so did his daughter. I just want to help elloit. im his only best friend.

I have stayed away from him for almost two months now. but hes also very clingy. I suggested help but he dosnt think he has a problem. o.o

Oi.....my mother is like this. She is very stubborn and cannot accept that she has A.D.D and is very difficult to keep up with----and can get emotional.

I think, he needs other guy friends involved. If he only sees his female friend in times like these, especially all the time without the variety, he really needs to be exposed to others.

If he continues to deny that he has a problem, there is nothing you can do about it

---

the more you confront him about it, the more defensive he is going to get.

If you really do want to help him realize his problems, find more indirect ways to make these problems come to light....I do believe being with a calm male friend can help that

---

he needs to see that his behaviour is different, and that compared to this "calm" guy, he is overreacting.......but don't tell him he has the problem, or he will shoot back into his defensive shell again, and realize why he was exposed to that situation---and be far more difficult to work with.

In the end, maybe he will also learn by realizing you are distancing yourself from him.......He has a child to take care of, so he can't be completely focused on you, right? Let his attention go back to his kid----it may actually help him.

I have to admit though, you should have been more careful...getting too involved with an emotionally-unstable situation with an abandoned guy taking care of his kid, while having a boyfriend of your own. It was rather inevitable that he became close and clung to you

---

when feeling desperate for some kind of closure, he was more than likely going to develop feelings.

I think you should have involved your boyfriend as well, if he was willing--and I'm sure he would have have been in this case--this way it clearly shows not only does he have 2 people to socialize with including one of his own gender aka he can relate to him differently, but the situation is more clear as well

---

he is not getting "my close female friend spends a lot of time with me".

Well now that it's gotten to this point, I hope your boyfriend is at least aware?

I seriously think the guy needs to redirect his attention----instead of crying over his ex, he should be taking care of his kid.......it would give him some kind of a resolve, and would seriously make him more mature and stable, if he would come to this conclusion.......you should reinforce that if anything.

MinaK wrote: stop going around him for a while he will straighten up

he needs psychological help methinks.

lay it out for him. don't jeopardize your own relationship. your guy might not be so understanding if he knew what he's like.

be blunt and direct.

Get him some professional's help a.s.a.p