Skills - Advice/Guidance/Mentorship

Prime_c wrote: Hello everyone, I want to create this topic for the purpose of helping one another in developing and improving each other's soft skills.

What are soft skills? They're personal attributes that enable someone to interact effectively and harmoniously with other people.

This could be a major issue for some looking to find a gf/bf. Being able to engage meaningfully with one another not only helps your chances but can help benefit in your careers.

One of the skills I'm currently working on is trying to breathe when I'm presenting. One would assume breathing comes naturally, yes, however, I tend to speak all my words in one exhale breathe and it makes it difficult to keep speed while presenting for work or during my MBA program. This often leads me to rush through and possibly miss details in the project.

Um first, making business meeting speeches are very different to speaking casually and with girls. obviously not the same thing. Such as girls aren't into nice guys that relies wholly on conformist soft power more than jerk power. Soft power only ever works in dating if the guy is already a catch whereas jerk power makes a guy seem more bold and that turn girls on.

For business speeches, look at the lead actor in New Amsterdam. People who talk with him knows they are being fully listened to and he is able to automatically develop rapport with them because he is co-coordinating with them. He's not a robot separate from them and stuck in his own head. But you need to firmly have awareness of others attentively and such deliberate awareness ironically helps with a better sense of control of self and the conversation flow.

I watched that alien vs predator movie and watched the heroine tell her boss to practice breathing in and out of your nose deeply but as SLOW as he possibly can. After looking it up, such a simple but underrated move really does calm your nerves, and increases your HRV whereas holding your breath or hyperventilating decreases it. People with high HRV levels tend to have a much more enhanced level of self control, deliberation, calmed nerves, focus and mental stamina. And they tend to be fit at a cardiovascular level and breathe in a healthy way which boosts their self control. Good for avoiding premature rushing. And since others are going to bring it up, yes slow mindful breathing also improves stamina in the bedroom or at your freaky lube station.

Obviously some people just aren't fit enough to breathe in and out slowly whillst even doing basic tasks or under pressure. They hold their breath or breathe shallowly and wonder why they are not in control over themselves when they can't even control their breath. If you can minimally master your breath, you can influence your whole body. Don't believe me? Go and breath in and out deeply and slowly and then go perform a self control task. You should find a difference in focus and better mental stamina as you are now present in the moment and have higher self awareness.

Ideally when you speak, you should be present in the moment and not rambling and stuck in your head like Bill Gates absent-mindlessly tends to do. The reason why some professional speech makers move their hands subconsciously is because the are so attuned into their voice. If it helps, u can move your hands a bit to conduct your voice as u speak. The same way an actor in a Shakespeare's play will orate and be immersed in the message of their speech. You need to have personality in your voice. Don't be a robot and vomit your words out but have some passion in what you say. Every nuance and fine detail of your message needs to be emphasized with finesse. English language relies more on stressing intonation and rhythm. Some countries like Scotland and Australia really emphasize and maybe even overdo on those areas. You don't have to do a royal british accent but you need to practice being mindful of the intonation, rhythm and pitch to make the speech crystal clear, and why tv presenters are trained to speak a bit artificially funny from normal people to boost clarity.

Every time you take a pause is when you naturally breathe. You don't pause along the way? You need to machine gun the words all out in a consistent stream? What? Do you pause to allow some of the air back in? or just go all the way until u choke if the full sentence isn't over? Practise mindfulness meditation or being in the moment, work on improving your cardiovascular fitness and if you have some personality in your voice. You won't run out of breath ever as your mind naturally auto co-ordinates breathing with speech. Go try speaking for long periods but have some personality in your voice. You'll find that a persoanality is what naturally creates those pauses and you aren't likely to ever say a long sentence and feel overly choked up in your breathing ever again.. AND Don't stop midsentence and then loudly suck in air. haha Just busting your chops. I know you will surely practise this to perfection MBA guy.

I love me a little bit of jerk power coercion with my coffee in the morning. Throw in some assumptions on what women want and we have all the nice guys of Hey-Ai that never get a reply. Like any public speaking, you have to gauge your audience and know what message you are there to deliver (and actually get to the point). You have to be able to read subtle cues and not ramble on until you lost the audience's attention. Have a basic outline of what message you are trying to get across, make your story relatable, and enunciate your words to put emphasis on the right moment. Don't add unnecessary fluff and use your hands or shift directions to show a transition from one point to another. Most importantly, practice makes perfect. Practice in the bedroom, one breathing technique at a time.

With practice comes mastery. There’s always room to improve.

Keep calm first, show your aplomb, self-confidence, efficiency and relax when expressing yourself in front of the audience, do it as if you were expressing yourself in your room, or singing one of your favorite songs in the shower.
You must be practical with serenity in few accurate words. Avoid rushing, getting anxious or nervous and losing your composure; Don't let it control you! Search, study and be flexible to other alternatives, strategies and social dynamics. Find some breathing techniques, choose one, and practice constantly in front of the mirror or in your bedroom.

Online or real life,  factors are present and assumptions at the right time to interact to make friends or have a decisive date.
I have heard from some Asian guys through the message that they don't know what the womans want, that they have a conversation all the time and from one moment to the next the women stop talking or write an answer with them.

First of all, you must be honest with yourself and with others, be direct with what you feel from the beginning and do not circle around. They must demonstrate his dynamics, creative ingenuity, forms of communication and social skills so that the person does not lose interest, his disinterested actions, the message he wants to convey as any leader expresses it to his audience, without theater and media drama, You be direct without go around so many times to reach a single goal.

You have to learn to be receptive, a good analytical observer, to understand expressions, body language and gestures, signs, red flags and not go the other way without adjusting to a certain topic for conferences or speeches.
Be free and direct when expressing yourself regarding the information you want to transmit and the naturalness of the speech.

Analyze the setting, the audience, the atmosphere, the moment if it is appropriate or not, try to be concise, precise, stick to the subject and objective without losing attention and interest.
Have a short summary of main ideas of the objective or topic to convey.
You must get the audience to listen to your words, pay attention to the speech, understand the terms and expressions that you use, so that the viewer is interested in the subject and the content, appropriately values ​​the ideas presented, shares your proposals, approves, accepts and adheres to their conclusions.
Keep in mind that the intention is to make known, entertain, inform, convince at certain points and persuade the audience.
You have to be careful because if you are not attentive, your gestures may contradict your words. You have to apply broad gestures that facilitate the understanding of their speech, per example such as pointing out a data or showing the fingers of the hand necessary to refer to a specific number, among others.

Be pragmatic, improvise in time, be spontaneous in expressing yourself. do not be monotonous as you may lose attention from the audience. Say goodbye to the audience with closing formulas. The conclusion must be clear, precise, and should not contain any more information outside the limits. The strategic and vital point of the speech, are the last words that are spoken, are the ones that the audience will remember.
I recommend that in addition to making a synthesis, you end with a quote or question that prompts the audience / audience to reflect, analyze, and draw their own personal conclusions from what is presented.
Contrary to what many people may think, clothing is also an aspect to be taken into account, since it is related to both the personality of the speaker and the communicative context. Therefore, each person must choose a more formal wardrobe if the situation requires it, but without disregarding of those elements that make us unique.

Apply some strategies to capture the public's attention such as:
* Start with an interesting story.
* Resort to the statistical method.
* Ask rhetorical questions.
* Show photographs.
* Have empathy with the audience.
* Do not read the script.
* Use technology strategies.
* Be as natural as possible.
* Be convinced of what you say
* Project the conclusions into the future.

My advice on improving your social skills are:
* Do not think or express more than necessary. If you want to have a good conversation, be clear, spontaneous, direct and just do it, do not hesitate.

*It's okay if you create a controversial, awkward conversation, or a misunderstanding. Accept it your mistake and keep going, just don't do it again. That pain / fear of doing it again? Don't let it control you!
*Give value to others, by educating yourself and finding your own hobbies, sharing your positive experiences, naturally you will find something to talk about on different topics. Naturally, you will start to look interesting to people without even trying.
*Find your own truth and live according to it. Aren't you in the mood to talk? Do not do it. If you don't like some aspects of some people or making things in a good way with enthusiasm, just say it and don't hide it. Don't you want to explain yourself? Do not do it.
*Do not take everything so seriously, neither you nor other people. Nor what they have said, since, if you want to have a good time doing whatever, you will.
*Be yourself. Make , go out and have fun, talk about your interests and expectations. Smile, be happy and show your emotions! Make the decision to be happy from your inner self every day. You will reflect this in others and it will be easier for you to talk!

Personal development grows over the years. Because it is the reflection of that continuous internal knowledge of oneself.