"If Dating Profiles Were Forced to be Honest"

Yagairudi wrote:

MikeyC wrote:
Well I was being sarcastic lol

And you have a point honestly, its just that reading the word "clearly" is like hearing nails on a chalkboard. To me the whole dating match thing is bs because you're pretty much throwing a potential good relationship (whether intimate or not) because of this whole preconceive notion of "what should be the 'perfect' match". So in a way, I think you miss out in a lot by just throwing people aside with such ease.

haha I thought you was serious for a bit there (￣▽￣)ノ

Well, people throw other people aside with such ease when they're done hooking up or "dating". Most relationships don't last long and a couple think that a relationship will keep them happy. Sure I miss out on some people, but I think it's for the best as those people probably don't care about me or anyone else from a meaningful standpoint.

MikeyC wrote: And to your last point, all I gotta say is different strokes for different folks

Well think of it this way...can you talk clearly when music is blasting in the nightclub or bar? Is that person you met at those places relationship material? Just saying. (￣▽￣)ノ

Well clubs aren't my things so no and I get your point there but we're not meeting people in a nightclub on hey-ai lol. I mean if a girl likes to go out clubbing to dance and have fun what is the harm in that? If that's not your thing that its just not your thing but does it mean that girl isn't responsible because she likes to let loose and have fun from time to time?

Now obviously a lot of relationships that come from say IDK a bar or a night club, are probably going to be more casual. Some people like to have sex though, doesn't mean they're a terrible person. Perhaps their lifestyle is not one you would want to live but they still are a person and can have something good to teach you, maybe even about yourself.

Perhaps its your pessimistic outlook that molds these "realities" of people who dont care? I mean granted not all relationships end well, and some don't even get that far but that's one more cool person you know that can impact your life positively, if you let it.

Personally, I like a girl who has her head on her shoulders but also likes to come with me to a show and have fun. I'm a practical person (at least so I'd like to think) but I also like to have my adventures lol so if he profile says "I like to go to concerts or nightclubs" I'm not about to just scramble for the back button

And say it was the opposite and her profile read "i like to read books and watch movies, stay in and shove my face in ice cream" well I'm not about to be like oh this chick must be terribly boring and not fun at parties lol. They probably have their own qualities that make them interesting. Who knows maybe you can get them into it and that's the cool thing about relationships: you live and learn with each other and people end up being more than they put themselves out to be, or maybe something they didn't put themselves out to be, anywho. You just don't know until you've at least given em a chance

If my profile/online personality was an idealized version of myself, I'd come off as a much warmer and nicer person instead of this antisocial asshole that is me (which i am well aware of but just too stubborn to yield). So I do believe it's possible to be totally honest in the online world, depending on the individual and how much of a kiss-ass they allow themselves to be.

It's expected for people to be who they're not anyway, we see that all the time in real life. The same two-faced slimeballs at work, school, college etc. So I guess in this way, online and real life is no different for true slimeballs.

But onto your other question, I think it's possible to use science to an extent, to match personalities, based on morals and values and interests etc. But for it to work flawlessly, requires honesty.. which is not going to happen for most people. Not to mention the physical factors that mathematic algorithms cant help with like when two people get a whiff of each other's pheromones for the first time etc.


TLDR;
Science can help to an extent
I am an asshole

Good to see a fellow Cracked reader ^^

Good thing, my profile is a buffer zone. people would be blinded by my awesomeness.

I don't think "idealized" is the right word, personally. What people portray online has to be some facet of themselves--unless they're outright lying about how they look/what they do. In some ways, I think you naturally get more honest ideas about people online, like what Rudi said. You can see how people really are. Online personalities kind of answer the question, "Who are you when you think no one's looking?" Because the virtual world gives you a sense of anonymity and a dulled sense of repercussions. If someone's a malicious troll online and a great person offline, I'd say the person they are in real life is the person under restraint of social pressures. And they're malicious at heart.

But it's really hard to draw that line and define people so easily.

Personally, I'm a lot more "out-spoken" online than in real life. I was sitting in a class discussion one day, and there were half a dozen times I wanted to jump in and say something, which is what I'm doing right now. I'd just have to talk out loud. But the thought terrified me. So I have instances where I think, "This me online is a shame." But I'm not putting forth opinions that aren't mine or pictures that aren't mine, and I'm not putting up a front. Written mediums just work so much better for coherent discussions. Less pressure. More time to think.

The benefit of being online is also being able to change more easily. New profile, new you. You don't have to deal with the repercussions of people who've known you for years saying, "Well, this isn't you." When in reality, maybe you have been changing or been wanting to change, and you've been pigeonholed into a role by people around you. I feel that sometimes around family. Online, you get a clean slate. And even then, if you're somewhere long enough, you've found yourself in another role, like an "antisocial asshole," (but Cracked readers definitely can't be assholes).

So in a sense, it all is very idealized. But it's not all an imagining, because you're getting at the essence of you.

And I swear I wrote all this once, and it just didn't submit right.

Online interaction is a double edge sword. And by interactions I mean in long terms either through gaming or forums. You get a more clear idea of a person's mindset and personalities that they might be too shy or introvert to share with strangers in real life, but it's also easier for people to hide physical aspect of them or their lives.

I would say a majority of people's personas online is like mine. Me online is me, and I see zero point to pretend or role play for people that I probably won't ever see irl. There are the minority that will intentionally be someone else and straight up lie of course, but I can see that being very tiring as time goes on. With that said, the "there's no girl on the internet" rule still applies at all time, a dude until proven otherwise. There's also the aspect rexxie (yes I'm calling you this) brought up about writing being less stressful medium for communication for many people. There's not a need to be fluent or charismatic on the fly, you have time to gather your thoughts. It's a lot easier to be yourself when the social stress isn't there, much like around close friends.

The other side of this coin is that people are able to hide concrete things about themselves much easier online than irl. A wife/husband, kids, bad habits, 50,000 debt that force them to live in a box and etc.

For both reasons, many people are replacing their real life with online life simulator. They know who they want to be and how they want to act, but aspects of real life or social pressure is holding them back. They can be free to be who they are/want to be in a simulated world. They can be that life of the party person without stomach butterflies holding them back, or self conscious about their looks. Sometimes feeling good about their online avatar's looks and/or achievements is enough for a person to gain the confidence to be more social and outgoing in the online word, and they would likely be the same irl had they felt the same way about their own physical appearance and achievements.

So to truly know a person, I believe you need to know both their online persona and know them irl.

www.cracked.com/vide...ofile-ever.html

New episode!

I dunno if it's true that you need to know someone online persona AND their real life persona, 'cause some people don't really use much communication online. But I definitely think if you know someone online, you're only getting part of them. Even if they're totally honest or if it's the better part or the worst part.

Are you hiding the fact that you live in a box with your family?

Thesaurusrex wrote: www.cracked.com/vide...ofile-ever.html

New episode!

I dunno if it's true that you need to know someone online persona AND their real life persona, 'cause some people don't really use much communication online. But I definitely think if you know someone online, you're only getting part of them. Even if they're totally honest or if it's the better part or the worst part.

I guess I mean that the people you know irl, you may not know all there is to them. Their inner problems, some ideas, controversial beliefs and etc are often hidden while face to face, and if you were to somehow know their online persona when they feel no social repercussion, you'd know them better.

Thesaurusrex wrote: www.cracked.com/vide...ofile-ever.html
Are you hiding the fact that you live in a box with your family?

Oh god no. I can't stand my family so I'd have my own box.

it's soo easy to lie online lol be careful out there~ or you'll be the next catfish lol

Or maybe I'm just Naive. What's the word for cynically optimistic, other than "crazy person"? People I've met online certainly lied about concrete aspects of their lives before, but I always knew their personalities.

Thesaurusrex wrote: I don't think "idealized" is the right word, personally. What people portray online has to be some facet of themselves--unless they're outright lying about how they look/what they do. In some ways, I think you naturally get more honest ideas about people online, like what Rudi said. You can see how people really are. Online personalities kind of answer the question, "Who are you when you think no one's looking?" Because the virtual world gives you a sense of anonymity and a dulled sense of repercussions. If someone's a malicious troll online and a great person offline, I'd say the person they are in real life is the person under restraint of social pressures. And they're malicious at heart.

But it's really hard to draw that line and define people so easily. .

I think what you described only apply to some people. I know people who are:

• The typical shy introvert in real life but super talkative online (which you can argue, the internet helps as a medium for them to express their true self),
• But I also know those who outright lie about themselves online or lie about it and then believe their own made up self-image (in a similar way to method acting).

So like you say, it's not easy to define people so easily. As for trolls, while some are malicious at heart, I think others just suffer from a form of arousal desensitization, where they require massive amounts of drama and stimulation to "jolt" their senses and feel alive/excitement. But that's just speculation on my part.

Thesaurusrex wrote: The benefit of being online is also being able to change more easily. New profile, new you. You don't have to deal with the repercussions of people who've known you for years saying, "Well, this isn't you." When in reality, maybe you have been changing or been wanting to change, and you've been pigeonholed into a role by people around you. I feel that sometimes around family. Online, you get a clean slate. And even then, if you're somewhere long enough, you've found yourself in another role, like an "antisocial asshole," (but Cracked readers definitely can't be assholes).

Like above, i think this totally depends on the individual. Some people choose to be their true self in the online world, some are in the midst of changing and experimenting with different identities, and some others purposely decide to be someone they are not to experience an adventure of sorts. For example, a girl takes a wonderfully angled photo and it makes her look beautiful when she's just average in real life. She lives this fantasy of being 'the hot girl' in the online world. There are way too many different kinds of people and personality types to really say what sort of behaviours the online world brings. Best case scenario, they are the person you described, keeping it real and being true to themselves on the internet. Worst case scenario, they are pretending to be someone they're not.

As for me being an antisocial asshole, i'm pretty much the same in real life too, so it's not really a role i'm involuntarily taking part in. It's just that my written communication and verbal communication have a degree of disharmony. Like, I sound casual and joking in real life, but in writing, come off as a jerk due to me being more cerebral and "cold" when I write. The lack of facial expressions, tone of voice and body language of the online world makes it worse. So i'm aware I come off as a dick on the internet sometimes, but my carefree/IDGAF attitude persists both in real life and in the online world, and I just refuse to yield and be overly accomodating to others. Basically I dont care in real life or online if I offend someone.. Just that it doesnt happen often in real life because people can read my non-verbal cues that I dont mean any ill towards them.

lol my post seems so self-centered. Again, blame my horrible written communication skills. I'm just unable to reply to you without sounding egotistical.