Caucasian women don't like me? :(

muonx wrote: As to those asian girls who refuse to date you? The fact of the matter is that they are self - racist and brainwashed by the influence to think that asian men are subpar. All stemming from the racist hollywood media. Your not the only asian male who has experienced these self-racists statements from girls of our own race.

I wouldn't call them racist. It's the same as guys that only want to date white girls here. It's just their preference. Media and how they grew up help shape alot of what they find as attractive so I can't begrudge them for that. The only thing I care for is changing the way Asians are seen in America. Be a role model or support those that break the mold of what people think of when they think of Asian men.

muonx, the backlashes you've gotten in the past have from either guys trying to pretend the disparity does not exist (even though they know themselves that it does) so they can look "confident" and look good in front of the girls on here, or from girls who are attracted to Asian guys (and ironically mostly also due to exposure to Asian media) so they could not see in the PoV of typical western girls who's got that "Eww Asian guys" mind set.Asian guys, with everything else equal, are less attractive to majority of the western girls and will have a harder time in the dating world. That's a fact. Arguing with that would be ridiculous. As for the causes, some cite self inflicted elements, like previous post here, while you cite media. I believe there are elements of both, and they reinforce each other in a downward spiral.[/quote]

True confidence isn't about hiding what you truly think to make yourself look better when other's judge you , but lying out what you feel like it is. I too , believe its elements of both , but more so related to Media.

As I've said before, there's a difference between acknowledging the challenges and whining. I believe you're doing the former. It's an uphill battle, and perhaps not fair, but no one said life would be fair.

I don't care if you believe me or not , but I don't let these things damage my mindset when it comes to dating. I'm just realllllly passionate about Asian American Activism. Too many asian guys are complacent and stick their heads in the sand ignoring the fact that Asian men have "no problems " or whatsoever.

aphextwin wrote: At first I felt bad for you but then after reading your comment of this MEDIA conspiracy....it's abit far fetched for my logical brain.

What, you don't believe so? Just go here , www.zakkeith.com/art...stereotypes.htm , and you will see how viscous and racist american media exactly is. Educate yourself, on the many viscious sterotypes and portrayals of Asians in the media. Media Conspiracy? It's not a conspiracy , it's fact. Just look at the sidebar of the link I posted. 384 MOVIES and TV shows that perpetuate discrimination and Asian stereotypes. You think this is a joke? That white people just do this because they don't know? It's all on purpose. Spanning movies from 1900's into 2014. The fact is , american society has been racist from the onset. www.zakkeith.com/art...ry-timeline.htm .

However, me and my "white" degree educated friends don't complain about this. So not sure where your comment of this whole thing if you are white you are guaranteed....I have some single white guys friends that can't get a check period..also some asian friends and sh*t, there are just some people regardless can't get a decent girlfriend.Second point, I hate this whole just because you are a minority you get to blame the majority bs for your problems. So if we flip the shoe on the other foot.

Now I'm not attributing all problems that Asian men have solely due to media , because some of the blame should also be placed on ourselves. BUT WHAT ABOUT the rest of us , who have tried to better ourselves , and become more well rounded and are comparable to everyone else , yet we are still chosen last when it comes down to it? Just like STATZ . Like he says , he works out is well rounded ,yet he still finds out that it is uncomparable to the white man. Should those of us who have tried to maximize our value just sit their and be happy with what we have and be complacent? I for one AM NOT happy to be complacent. What asian males face is a combination of the racist media , and the effects of our culture that does not work in western country.

Why should we somehow change the media based upon your preferences. Yeah asians and a whole wackload of other cultures aren't represented but that's life man) that's like in any country. I would love you to find me a country where the media/entertainment does not cater to the majority population. How come Native American females aren't represented as sexy and hot in Taiwanese movies???! wtf cry foul!

TAIWAN is not a multicultural country. Do you even logic? Taiwan is 99% Chinese. AFRICAN AMERICANS have black people in the media everywhere because they saw that without representation , they would get no where , and look at how they are doing today. They are represented well today. But where are Asians today? We have Walking Dead , Fresh Of the boat and that's it. I's not my preferences , it's my desire for Asian Americans to be represented as a group on a societal level without negative conoations , like the Lone ranger and the Tonto , and how it badly represents native Americans as inferior to whites. Same with african Americans. Are you telling me that blacks shouldn't have changed the media based on their preferences? OH but they already did. So is it okay for Black people to do it , but not okay for Asians as a group to do it?

You want to know just how exactly media affects your dating life? Then watch this .

AMERICA AND CANADA ARE MULTICULTURAL COUNTRIES , AND MULTICULTURAL COUNTRIES SHOULD REFLECT THE PEOPLE THAT MAKE UP IT'S SOCIETY.

You can be happy with being represented as a :

1. Perpetual foreigner
2. Martial arts
3. Model minority
4. Nerd/Geek
5. Gendered racism—sexualized female, asexual male and sanctioned racial-gender coupling
6. Inferior and subordinate
7. Mystic
8. Archvillain, Dragon Lady or yellow peril
9. Caricature, yellowface bizarre and/or unfathomable
10. Willing/Deserving targets of open denigration

But I am not. I don't want my kids to represented as this either. BECAUSE Stereotypes have very real consequences for Asians living in the West in terms of day-to-day interaction, current events and governmental legislation. Upwardly mobile Asians find themselves hitting glass ceilings and earning far less than their white counterparts due to preconceived notions about their temperament, lack of trustworthiness, innovation and poor leadership abilities.

And if you don't believe me , then read this study . Dominant East Asians face workplace harassment, says study from Rotman School , But when they don’t conform to common racial stereotypes, such as being non-dominant, even people of East Asian descent are “unwelcome and unwanted by their co-workers,” says a new paper from the University of Toronto’s Rotman School of Management.

3rd point, if you want to date a girl that only sees what the media portrays, then good luck on you homie, that's not a good catch regardless of skin color.

The problem with that is everyone watches hollywood movies , regardless of the fact whether they watch alternative media. Sure , I can always find a girl who watches anime , and likes "Asians" , but i JUST want to find a normal girl. Not someone who has a boner for anime. And you know what ? I don't really care about that , because ultimately , I hate that it influences the ASIAN girls that I want to date when they tell me " Hey , i don't date asians because they look like my relatives".

What it comes down to , is that I am looking at the big picture. I DON'T CARE about these stereotypes when it affects my dating life. I can always find a girl . But when these stereotypes are related to racism and affect my career [ bamboo ceiling ] , and my life [ racial harsssment , casual racism] , my education[ affirmative action] , then this is a injustice that must be solved , no matter how good my life might be compared to people in Africa , because AFRICAN Americans took it upon to themselves to change their fate in american society so that they could break through the segregation, and today they are represented in media and in society , why should asians be happy in being bottomn tier? We are minorities too. Don't be a Uncle CHAN.

I wouldn't call them racist. It's the same as guys that only want to date white girls here. It's just their preference. Media and how they grew up help shape alot of what they find as attractive so I can't begrudge them for that. The only thing I care for is changing the way Asians are seen in America. Be a role model or support those that break the mold of what people think of when they think of Asian men.

No , this is racism. Read this , article .[/i] It's called internalized racism. "internalization by people of racist attitudes towards members of their own ethnic group, including themselves." This can include the belief in ethnic stereotypes relating to their own group.

An empirical example of internalized racism is Kenneth and Mamie Clark's doll experiment, which was done in America at a time when black and white children were segregated. It involved an African-American child being presented with two dolls that were identical apart from skin and hair color, one doll being white with yellow hair and the other being brown with black hair. The child was asked which doll they would prefer to play with and why. All children in the study expressed a clear preference for the white doll

This is basically the same with asian girls who are choosing to date a white man over an asian guy. Internalized racism.

muonx wrote: This is basically the same with asian girls who are choosing to date a white man over an asian guy. Internalized racism.

Is it internalized racism for Asian guys wanting to date non-Asian girls then? It has to go both ways.

Male of female, if you have a preference for only one race, because of a racial quality, or you would not date someone over their racial quality you have internalized racism. It's a two way street, not a one way steet.

I'm not going to reply with a massive thread back but I see your point of view with this whole systemic asian racism but not to be offensive, there is a difference of talking about the greater Asian cause (racism in the work place etc) versus i partially blame my low selection of western girls to Asian media portrayal in the media.

What I find offensive if you use blanket statements about a certain race (all white guys have it easy) then cry that they make stereotypes of us. Try wearing the other foot. You make generalizations of cultures that make up the very stereotypes and biases you are trying to break down. That's the truth here. Yes, there are racist people out there, but there are people that aren't. Just as there are some damn racist Asians and the majority will rather date /marry their own race and refuse to date anyone outside and truly believe white people are dumb etc. Do i make a statement and say asians are racist?

If you don't like western culture so much, why are wanting to date a white girl...it doesn't even make sense to me. Yet, you want western culture to patronize to you but if you haven't realized it yet, nobody gives you anything, just go out and do it. Stop b*tching.

Bringing up studies and polls etc is great but there are also life experiences that show me not EVERYTHING is related racism as you think it is. There is one thing to be aware of it but there is another thing to whine and make blanket statements. You are doing the latter. I don't know, but I am sure you are a very deep person, very multl-faceted and intelligent.

Maybe I live in a bubble, my personal experiences with the girls I've dated have never centered around cultural differences. It was about whether we get along, chemistry, things we like doing, things she enjoys and her interests, things couples talk and work through. When you're making love to or banging a girl, whatever she prefers that night lol, the only thing she cares about is how good you make her feel. I was even engaged once, I was told by the father that if he had to have a son-in-law, he saw me as the son he never had. *this coming from a person who was never exposed to any other cultures his whole life* I manage a large team of different races, we all get along quite well, there is no segregation of races but just personality types. Some are more sociable, some are more introverted. I have successfully moved up my corporate ladder, and still going. I have been encouraged and told by my senior leadership that I have the qualities of a good leader and have been placed in a leadership mentoring program for succession planning.

I have nieces that are half white / asian, I want them to live in this world and picking sides isn't going to help them have an identity. Do you get what I'm trying to tell you here?

Do I believe there aren't racist people out there? Hell yeah there is, but I also believe there is a part of society that is open minded and is beyond this, smart enough to make their own decisions not based upon media or whatever you think but base it upon how you treat one another, mutual respect, your intelligence and ultimately your credibility whether it's in personal relationships, family or work. I expect it both ways and that's how I lead, and I don't give a sh*t what race you are. Get the job done and deliver on what you say.

muonx wrote: Male of female, if you have a preference for only one race, because of a racial quality, or you would not date someone over their racial quality you have internalized racism. It's a two way street, not a one way steet.

To the OP,

Don't give up. You just need to try harder. Maybe you need a wingman to help you out when you're introducing yourself to the ladies. It's very simple, just follow these steps:

1) Find a bro

2) Convince your bro to be your wingman

3) Wingman will help you get a girl

4) Get into relationship with your girl

5) Get married and raise 8 kittens because why not?

6) Start Reality TV Show on TLC

7) Become filthy rich from your new reality TV show

8) Get a divorce because raising 8 kittens is very hard and your reality TV show has been taken off the air due to a hot scandal.

9) Create new H-A account

10) Return to 1)


Go look for your local wingman by consulting with your Bro and if you cannot find one then one will be provided to you. If your dating issues persist then please review these steps before consulting your Bro. Online dating is a serious problem that most men may experience in their late 20s and 30s so if you've haven't seen any visible results with your wingman within 21 days then you may experience hallucinations, paranoia, mood swings, clinginess and etc. If this happens then please stop taking your wingman and consult with your bro.Others who have used a wingman have also reported to have sudden epiphany that made sense to them at the time, such as replacing your wingman with your cat and bringing it to your dates when you're flying a plane to impress your girl:

^ awww kitty

muonx wrote: Male of female, if you have a preference for only one race, because of a racial quality, or you would not date someone over their racial quality you have internalized racism. It's a two way street, not a one way steet.

Come on. Look at you. Whining nerd. Why would will Asian girls like you. I can get Asian girls so easily. They actually talk to me first.

Perhaps we should write a piece that answers threads like "does this race hate/like this" and other similar ones. Can we make it so it's like the chat info tab, permanent and easy to access?

I don't mind hearing about other cultures and how things are done/looked at etc that's interesting...i know the site focuses on interracial shiz, but honestly I feel that there is too much focus on race. It feels fetishy. Perhaps this is just my own problem, but something feels wrong. This is what put me off hey ai pretty quickly. I can't exactly explain myself, but I feel like people are looking at love life related things way too much through the lens of race. I personally become super uncomfortable once people start making generalisations and weird reasonings for their attraction. Just because it's a positive stereotype doesn't mean you stopped judging someone based on their outer features..???

Sorry for my ramblings....I just hate when conversations seem as informative and productive as the comments section under a justin bieber video on youtube.

You can openly hate me now, it's ok.

Hi Loulwa, I just wanted to add a comment about "becoming super uncomfortable once people start making generalizations and weird reasonings for their attraction."

I believe the person who started this thread does not realize that simply being fond of non-asian females does not automatically state that a non-asian will take a fancy to you.

This will take time and patiences. Many woman out are not just looking at not only at your outer appearance but your other qualities i.e. your personality.

Good Luck Brother