Insight: S2014 Ep13 Dating Race

it is just envy for all the racists. it's like i see a girl that is hanging around a boy that i like, i tend to think bad about her. with my ex, that is vietnamese, i used to hear things like: whore, bitch, they asked on the street if i don't like anymore romanian dic* and so on. that made our relationship stronger and we became a team. i learned NOT TO CARE, which is awesome!

Arduina wrote: Ohwww, the korean guy and his caucasian woman are so cute. Pretty cute story!
But why does they think like this? (I'm asian, she would be never feel attracted to me).
Whatever, I like their ''How me met'' story. ^-^

It's a lack of exposure to these type of relationships and cultural attitudes that shape the way Asian men may feel. They may feel they are not desirable to women outside their race because of what they've heard or seen. It doesn't help that other people in society have reinforce these attitudes. Ultimately, Asian guys have say to hell with everything and start asking out girls they like regardless of what everybody thinks.

Thalia wrote: I've noticed the same thing, but more generally; when I'm out with an Asian man, especially shopping or doing domestic things, there seems to be a lot more shock and awe than is warranted. I've noticed that Asian women tend to seem very surprised, but I also notice a lot more hostility from other men of every ethnicity - that surprised me.

I think that depends where you live, I live in Toronto so I never notice that when I dated White girls. At least nobody got up in my face and said it anyways.

so, after watching this episode, i will be even more confident and i will be even more delighted to date only asian guys. the difference between us makes us feel attracted to each other, it's something that's complementary and intimate. those 2, the korean and the american seem to be very happy and that gave me a boost of confidence and trust.

Steve-o-rama wrote:

Arduina wrote: Ohwww, the korean guy and his caucasian woman are so cute. Pretty cute story!
But why does they think like this? (I'm asian, she would be never feel attracted to me).
Whatever, I like their ''How we met'' story. ^-^

It's a lack of exposure to these type of relationships and cultural attitudes that shape the way Asian men may feel. They may feel they are not desirable to women outside their race because of what they've heard or seen. It doesn't help that other people in society have reinforce these attitudes. Ultimately, Asian guys have say to hell with everything and start asking out girls they like regardless of what everybody thinks.

Hmh, I see.
Gosh, it's so sad that asian guys think like this but it's also sad, that non asian girls think just as asian guys.
I would never talk to an asian guy (When I'm out or whatever) 'cause I would think ''Naah, I don't think he likes non asian/german girls'' or or or.
So, BOTH should try to make the first step!
What a doom loop! >.<

I actually agreed with the social scientist at the end (Denton) where he said as soon as you establish a hierarchy or value one race more than another, that is racism.

I think it's a very thin ambiguous line. You'll have to be very clear that when you say you prefer one race over another, that it is strictly physical. Or you may say culturally, that you prefer this over that.. but as soon as you ascribe a personality/character trait to someone just based on their race (i.e. Women from this race are more loving/less shallow, women from this other race are more selfish/aggressive/more whiney.. etc etc.) then that is a form of racism.

And we've had plenty of that here on this site.

It's cool to just outright state you're personally more physically attracted to a particular race without a reason. Don't try to justify some kind of character trait on them in an attempt to not seem shallow, because you'll inadvertently end up sounding prejudiced and racist.

Just my two cents.

i already said on another thread that i like a dark complexion, i don't find attractive guys with green or blue eyes, it's like dating my brother. in my culture, being tanned means being healthy and sexy, that's why i like a tanned or darker skin

Arduina wrote: Hmh, I see.
Gosh, it's so sad that asian guys think like this but it's also sad, that non asian girls think just as asian guys.
I would never talk to an asian guy (When I'm out or whatever) 'cause I would think ''Naah, I don't think he likes non asian/german girls'' or or or.
So, BOTH should try to make the first step!
What a doom loop! >.<

Not all Asian guys are shy if they have a good grasp of Western culture, especially if they are born here. Shyer guys may approach you if they think you're friendly, though you may need to give out strong indicators. Plus, I find first generation guys tend to have a quirky mating ritual. They will be your friend and do very nice things for girls they like, but don't close the deal. In those cases you may need to be more aggressive.

JMichael wrote: I actually agreed with the social scientist at the end (Denton) where he said as soon as you establish a hierarchy or value one race more than another, that is racism.

I think it's a very thin ambiguous line. You'll have to be very clear that when you say you prefer one race over another, that it is strictly physical. Or you may say culturally, that you prefer this over that.. but as soon as you ascribe a personality/character trait to someone just based on their race (i.e. Women from this race are more loving/less shallow, women from this other race are more selfish/aggressive/more whiney.. etc etc.) then that is a form of racism.

I agree with that assessment, the literal definition of racist is hierarchy of race, so it makes perfect sense. When a group, any group, is subjugated to any type of ordinal ranking system it demeans everybody below. It is difficult to decipher between just a preference and racism though and I think that is were most of the argument starts due to misunderstandings.

Steve-o-rama wrote:

Arduina wrote: Hmh, I see.
Gosh, it's so sad that asian guys think like this but it's also sad, that non asian girls think just as asian guys.
I would never talk to an asian guy (When I'm out or whatever) 'cause I would think ''Naah, I don't think he likes non asian/german girls'' or or or.
So, BOTH should try to make the first step!
What a doom loop! >.<

Not all Asian guys are shy if they have a good grasp of Western culture, especially if they are born here. Shyer guys may approach you if they think you're friendly, though you may need to give out strong indicators. Plus, I find first generation guys tend to have a quirky mating ritual. They will be your friend and do very nice things for girls they like, but don't close the deal. In those cases you may need to be more aggressive.

Thank you for your contribution, very kind and honest.
Well, I will try to think about it if I see someone or anything else.
This helps me a lot!

Interesting show! And I do agree that it turns into racism at some point for some people. Of course people from different cultures can have certain traits associated with that culture, but that doesn't have to be the case. I'm guilty of this form of racism, but towards my own nationality. One of the reasons I'm having a hard time being attracted to Swedish guys is probably because I associate them with having certain traits I think is in the Swedish modern culture and that I disagree on. It's not necessarily the case, but I assume so until the opposite is proven. I do not see anything wrong with racial preference as long as it's simply being a question of attraction.

I am rarely attracted to caucasian men. Almost never if he has blue eyes and blonde hair. I like black hair, brown eyes and a skin slightly more tanned than mine. But all that is purely attraction. It's my initial interest before getting to know the person. I'm not ruling out Swedish guys because of that (even though I do doubt Swedish guys agree with me on family life generally). I do believe that attraction can grow with time and if a man is compatible to me, then I will be attracted to him, no matter if he falls into my "racial preference".

That Han had some balls to bail out his "not yet" gf from this situation