So what is it that attracts you to the opposite sex?

bentobeatbox wrote: I meant dealbreakers in the sort of "you want kids but I don't" sort of sense. Or religion... or political beliefs. Some people think religion or politics don't matter so much, but down the line it might be an issue. Same with paying attention to how your SO spends their money. Are they overly cautious with their cash or do they spend it freely? Maybe they are somewhere in between. Does the person I want to marry have financial issues that will become my financial issues also when we marry?

I have a feeling some people might not think of this stuff beforehand.

Interesting. How do you find out that information? I can't imagine asking a potential partner straight out in the first few dates.

The fact that you think of such things makes you an exceptional catch. It's a tragic loss for the males on here that you're taken now.

Haha, Marker, you are so silly. Yep, my boyfriend knows he's a lucky man.

Anyway, how do you find it out? Well, definitely don't bring it up on the first few dates. If you begin to get serious then those topics can come up. I never flat out asked my ex about his finances except for when I asked if he had any debt (this was around the 2 yr mark when marriage had been brought up). I would pay close attention to how and what he spent his money on, and to be honest, there were some times when I flat out said he should not be buying certain things. A lot can be discovered from close observation, you'd be surprised.

In some suburban areas of Asian, there used to have a job called matchmaker, normally an old lady, she will help you to get a satisfactory wife according to your personality, family situation, income, etc.. Although that could sometimes work, but even that, the marriage is still unpredictable..

I don't know much about the divorce rates. I think if a couple isn't happy anymore tho they tried to save the relationship, it's fine to break up. Why stay together if you aren't happy? Why lie to yourself? Ruin your life because of all the fights? My mum and dad tried to save their marriage a long time, but they always ended up fighting, my mum didn't felt loved, so she cheated on my dad etc. There was a point where I really thought "Gosh, why don't you just get divorced?! Stop fighting, you will never agree, there's no way you'll be able to ever work this out." That's exactly how it was. I know they did love eachother still, but there was something they couldn't overcome, because it was just in their personality, something that they couldn't change but that was making the other one very sad and angry.
So yeah, I know it may sounds rude, but I was quite happy when they decided to divorce, started to be honest to themselves. Maybe that experience is mostly the reason why I think getting divorced is fine. I don't think it means you're "giving up", it's more like being wise enough to realize when something won't work anymore and have the guts to finally let it go and start something new.

I think it's because don't take marriage seriously, I think that people creates an everlasting fantasy but doesn't really owned up to it. I think you have to find someone who takes marriage seriously and if things goes bad you and your partner must work it out. Yes the divorce rate in the West is up 50 percent, but i am sure in some countries there are plenty of divorces. if you're going to marry stay with the person long enough to know if the person is right for you. I am lucky to say my parents are still together and hopes that I will never think about the word divorce when i am in my relationship.

On the surface it may appear westernized cultures have a higher divorce rate but I think in actuality unhappy marriages are everywhere and whether they end in divorce depends upon a lot of factors such as:

Some asian cultures tended to encourage spousal (wives) tolerance towards infidelity as Asian women have accepted the premise of mistresses but this is changing as cultures modernize and gender equality balances out.

Religious views which frown upon divorces often result in the continuation of marriages which under western conditions normally end in divorce. This leads to misleadingly lower divorce stats.

The concept of "face" especially those in the upper echelons of Asian society eg.prominent families, tribal clans etc. discourage divorces which bring shame to the family name. Unhappy marriages are often kept intact with elaborate charades despite separate living arrangements. Sounds bizarre but is a lot more common then people realize.

I don't think we can conclude from divorce stats alone that western marriages are riskier or that cheating is more likely.
If anything in westernized cultures the concept of divorce seems to be a more straightforward fix to an unhappy arrangement.

Bern wrote: It is well documented that the west has a far higher divorced rates.
So my question to the Asian guys is are you willing to take the risk in marrying someone from the west even though you know that there is a far higher chance that you will get a divorce down the road or get cheated on?

why are you questioning this?do oyu think that people in west divorce cos they are doing it out of fun?
i think it's just because women are not so willing to cope with everything the husband do and let it slide(or the other way around if this is the case).
and society accepts and doesn't condamn it as in asia.
if you pay attention to the women in asia and how the marriage is vied,then you find your answer:
women are more enduring and do everything to just keep the family even if menas no happiness in real.
cos a divorced women is looked down upon in there ,so lower chances to be accepted thus less divorces.
but this doesn't make that family a happy one,don't you agree??

i know some asian women live in italy and lead a single way of life,while thier husband is in japan and both of them are like strangers to eachother,does it make sence to keep a marriage like this?

this thread makes western girls look like some unfaithul or not untrustful people.
i hope those that are of this opinion to pay attention to the above statments.

Asian men in asia cheat all the time.

Kal_L wrote: Asian men in asia cheat all the time.

asian men are bad bad bad bad guys

Bern wrote: It is well documented that the west has a far higher divorced rates.
So my question to the Asian guys is are you willing to take the risk in marrying someone from the west even though you know that there is a far higher chance that you will get a divorce down the road or get cheated on?

There are cheaters and divorces with every ethnicity in every parts of the world. Your question is simplifying a deeper issue that goes beyond just "westerners have a higher chance of cheating over Asians". For example, cultural upbringing has a lot to do with the issue of divorce. I think it's unfair to just generalize "westerners" as having a higher chance of divorce while in actuality these kinds of issues really depend on the individuals involved.