So what is it that attracts you to the opposite sex?

bentobeatbox wrote: Just gotta find a partner who takes marriage seriously. Make sure that person doesn't have any dealbreakers that might be an issue down the road, who can communicate well and knows the meaning of compromise. Marriage isn't a walk in the park, there will be struggles/arguments and I think people nowadays need to remember that.

THIS

I don't think it's fair to say it's solely the west that is suffering from this. And is it fair to say statistics judge a nation? Maybe us western girls like relationships with asian guys because of different upbringing and culture. Personally I've always found the asian men I've dated have been far more loving and caring than the british guys I've dated. These relationships have lasted longer too. So really, is it the western girls or the men to blame?

aknotofemma wrote: I don't think it's fair to say it's solely the west that is suffering from this. And is it fair to say statistics judge a nation? Maybe us western girls like relationships with asian guys because of different upbringing and culture. Personally I've always found the asian men I've dated have been far more loving and caring than the british guys I've dated. These relationships have lasted longer too. So really, is it the western girls or the men to blame?

I totally agree with you. I live in the U.S. and have only dated two guys, both being white, both being insensitive in the end. I notice how Asian men tend to be brought up with values that we women value. Respect, integrity, honesty etc etc. Anyway don't feel bad for what this guy says based on his assumptions about the west. I have a lot of respect for Asian cultures, but not for stereotyping. He made a comment yesterday on one of my forums saying that American kids are rotten and 99% of us supposedly have sex. So he took these "statistics" and then told me I probably wasn't even a virgin...SOOO...anyway I am and proudly so^^ his info on the west is pretty off in my opinion..so far anyway lol^^

Divorce rates can be almost just as high in parts of Asia. It's not just a Western thing. My parent's are Asian and are divorced. Their thinking is not very Westernized either.

A lot of people are getting married so early and young, often times under an extremely busy schedule. American's lifestyles are very fast paced and consequently people have either let time fly and feel too old to marry or want to rush into a marriage. There are other factors to the divorce rate to, whether it be cultural, economic, or relationship related. But it's not just Western thing. Things aren't as black and white as that.

kittychii wrote: this thread makes western girls look like some unfaithul or not untrustful people.
i hope those that are of this opinion to pay attention to the above statments.

The truth is that's the (admittedly unfair) image portrayed by western media. See shows like Sex and the City promoting promiscuity and glorifying casual dating/affairs. Eat Pray Love shows a fickle woman leaving her man for no good reason other than feeling "bored" and "trapped". Then you have other people around the world (not just Asians) for whom that's the only view they have of westerners. It's not surprising to see that they think all of them are easy come easy go.

BurningRain wrote: I totally agree with you. I live in the U.S. and have only dated two guys, both being white, both being insensitive in the end. I notice how Asian men tend to be brought up with values that we women value. Respect, integrity, honesty etc etc. Anyway don't feel bad for what this guy says based on his assumptions about the west. I have a lot of respect for Asian cultures, but not for stereotyping. He made a comment yesterday on one of my forums saying that American kids are rotten and 99% of us supposedly have sex. So he took these "statistics" and then told me I probably wasn't even a virgin...SOOO...anyway I am and proudly so^^ his info on the west is pretty off in my opinion..so far anyway lol^^

The problem is that women like you are in the minority. And values such as respect, integrity, and honesty are cast aside in favour of the "flashy" and glamorous guys with little substance.

If you truly want to find one of those, I'd recommend the immigrant communities around the west (SF Bay Area, LA, Toronto are good places to look). Recent immigrants are often (see zxynn and my discussions on hyperawareness and cultural retention) more traditional in their ways and beliefs than those today in Asia or multi-generation immigrants.

MagicMarker wrote: The problem is that women like you are in the minority. And values such as respect, integrity, and honesty are cast aside in favour of the "flashy" and glamorous guys with little substance.

How comes you always say that women, that have such values, are the minority? I get the feeling you're saying that to like every second girl here on hey-ai and there are even more that share the same values, so...
I wonder why you still believe this is a minority? Did you made some bad experiences or is it because of some things you heard that happened to other people etc.pp.? I find it kidn of sad that you're saying stuff like that again and again =/
You make it look like there aren't many women out there that a guy could trust and fully give his heart to...

UrStunning wrote: How comes you always say that women, that have such values, are the minority? I get the feeling you're saying that to like every second girl here on hey-ai and there are even more that share the same values, so...
I wonder why you still believe this is a minority? Did you made some bad experiences or is it because of some things you heard that happened to other people etc.pp.? I find it kidn of sad that you're saying stuff like that again and again =/
You make it look like there aren't many women out there that a guy could trust and fully give his heart to...

*shrug* I'm jaded and sarcastic, and I like it that way.

I say that because it's been my personal experience, and the experience of my friends, and I have many more years on you. The exact line about young women being naive and falling for flashy guys was actually told to me by an ex.

You can see it every day when a new guy with his shirt off and muscles exposed or someone dressed like a jpop/kpop star instantly becomes the center of attention and gets his wall flooded with admiring female posts, even if he's later proven by nangua as someone using a fake pic.

No, there really aren't that many women fully deserving of trust.

UrStunning wrote: How comes you always say that women, that have such values, are the minority? I get the feeling you're saying that to like every second girl here on hey-ai and there are even more that share the same values, so...
I wonder why you still believe this is a minority? Did you made some bad experiences or is it because of some things you heard that happened to other people etc.pp.? I find it kidn of sad that you're saying stuff like that again and again =/
You make it look like there aren't many women out there that a guy could trust and fully give his heart to...

There's not many that you can trust to fully give your heart to. Both girls and guys. I think as a society, it's more accepted to think of it coming from the guys, but both sexes are equally complicit. There's good eggs out there, but they are fewer and far between.

Except for puffs. I think he is the one who has stolen my heart. Having met you, I can rest without regret.

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"It's hard to ignore an undeniable truth - this feeling inside when I look at you."

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MagicMarker wrote: *shrug* I'm jaded and sarcastic, and I like it that way.

I say that because it's been my personal experience, and the experience of my friends, and I have many more years on you. The exact line about young women being naive and falling for flashy guys was actually told to me by an ex.

You can see it every day when a new guy with his shirt off and muscles exposed or someone dressed like a jpop/kpop star instantly becomes the center of attention and gets his wall flooded with admiring female posts, even if he's later proven by nangua as someone using a fake pic.

No, there really aren't that many women fully deserving of trust.

Why you come up with age? Yeah, you probably made some more experiences, but that doesn't mean you're right and I'm wrong. Mostly from my personal view it just means that you're probably more hurt and frustrated and scared to give your heart away, you see things in a little more suspicious way. (That's what I'm guessing.)

And I don't think just because a girl falls for someone that catches her eye, she's not worth being trusted? And it doesn't tell you much about her values. We know that appearance is always important to get in touch. There's nothing wrong with it, it's just the way the world works, remember?

Well, whatever, I can't agree with you...I know a lot of girls/women that have great values. More in my age, cause we're still not that hurt and bitter and we still believe in true love. I hope you don't call that naive, cause then I would just call you bitter again =p
You would tell me you made more experiences, I would tell you you just lost faith...
Isn't that what you would say? xD