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- Jossie
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Topic Author
- Visitor
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I've come to realize that even the most simple minded people are cruel and shallow as simple as they look. I always ask myself, Where are the genuine caring selfless people? And then I realized that to a point even selfless people are selfish. We do things deeds to feel better about ourselves no matter what the deed is. Maybe by helping an elder lady cross the road, in the end that only helps us "believe" that indeed we are good people.
I want to be a better person, am I the only one that feels like indeed we are fake at some level?
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- bentobeatbox
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So I think we are all shallow in some sense.
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- Trav.K
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- Jossie
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Topic Author
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bentobeatbox wrote: Even the "good" people I know are somewhat shallow. Sometimes they are more close minded than me.
So I think we are all shallow in some sense.
Those that make us bitter?
We are all bitter.
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- ILoveCreampuffs
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- tornadomushroom
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I'm pretty shallow too, just not as shallow as i used to be.
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- Summerbee90
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I respect you a lot for your post. Feelings like that are bound to come out on a website such as this - if beauty is only skin deep, then we should reply to every forum post related to us, every wall message, every message that drops into our inbox and contact everyone on here just to see whether their personality is compatible with ours. However, we don't because no matter which way you look at it, attraction has to be somewhere in the foundation of a relationship, and if you're just not attracted to someone - their photos don't appeal, their profile isn't to your taste - then you tend not to reply, or reply in a manner which would perhaps prematurely end a conversation - regardless of what is probably their amazing personality.
There's a reason "first impressions count" is a phrase that's told a million ways in many different languages. We judge someones health, self worth and interests from their appearence, whether we want to or not. If someone is poorly dressed, with poor hygiene and a bad sense of style, it gives an impression, which may or may not be to your taste. But you cannot HELP that, and it certainly does not make you fake, or a bad person.
If you're feeling fake, you're probably not being true to yourself and your feelings. You can't change who you are, if you judge by fashion, then judge by fashion - but be honest with yourself that you do that. Personally, I look at a potential dates teeth for cleanliness, and their hair, because I'm training in hairdressing. That doesn't make me a terrible person, just an honest person for admitting it. And being honest to yourself, would you truly be happy with a guy who has no interest in fashion and zero sense of style? If not, then you're not bad by judging around these factors, just being a realist.
You should be judging the guys you're considering dating - to "settle" would be a grievance to both him and yourself, and your own well being. You would both deserve more.
Being mean to other girls is something you should address, whilst judging a potential partner is merely seeking what attracts you, to judge those you're uninterested in just for kicks seems a little cruel. "Pull them down from their cloud when they seem conceited" is the part that concerned me... It's not your place to decide whether or not a girl in conceited, and nobody made you their judge, God, or the one to dole out their punishments. I think you'd feel a much better person if you dropped that habit.
I hope my post answered you in some way... And also that you find the answers within yourself that you're looking for!
S x
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- Nekky
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- Trav.K
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Nekky wrote: i feel all dizzy with the pink wall of text
I felt the same lol
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- tornadomushroom
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