A Warning to ALL Women in the OH/KY/INDY Area

@Moshi -- I don't consider meeting for coffee one time dating, I was trying to get to know him other than through a computer screen. I've been in 3 relationships, all of which took a lot of time to build up before they became something romantic. I met my best friends online and we meet one a year since they live across the country from me. I met my ex-fiancee online and we were together for 4 years. I never thought to be extra cautious with someone, you know? When I've had positive outcomes.


@24-bit -- The local authorities are trying to contact POF to see, but they have to have a subpeona in order to get any of that. I even reported the username and things to POF and they basically told me they couldn't delete his profile or anything. So, I'm not sure how helpful they'll be with the police. I spent upwards of 5 hours with police Monday night, going over and over and over things, taking photos, etc. It was tough but, they said they would do their best to help me.

Hey, I think it's really great of you to mention this to everyone here. It's good to give others a heads up or just a reminder to meet people safely. Not even just online. People you meet in real life can be just as shady.

I'm glad it didn't go too far! Thanks for sharing this. Hope you have better dating experiences in the future.

sisicakes, I did not mean to offend at all with my original post, and if I came across as condescending or rude I apologise.

I didn't know he looked similar to the pic, in that case you did do due diligence on your part and, again, whilst I'm very sorry to hear about what happened, I'm also relieved that things didn't end up worse, and that you were able to get away.

(I'm not sure how legal this is btw) but couldn't the police (or any vigilante) try to 'lure' him out again by contacting him through his POF account?

I think that would be illegal. Like To Catch a Predator. I don't think they can actually arrest those guys afterwards. I might be wrong though. I thought I heard that somewhere

Is he a real Chinese? or Chinese American ?
Most of the time, Chinese men and women are conservative.
Anyway,I am so sad to hear your story.

@CheekyPetey -- Perhaps in bigger cities they can, but around here I know it's against the law. It's entrapment. I gave them everything that I had from him and I know the prosecutor for my county is working on subpoenas for POF and stuff. It's just difficult because I knew very little about him even if I thought I knew quite a bit.


@Peterhuchina -- He was Chinese, or so he told me. He said he had been here in the states for 8 years working on his medical degree. He also says he has a PhD. I know how conservative people can be but unfortunately it happens. What's scary is that there are guys who do it. Scariest moments of my life to date.

Well glad you are safe. I guess a few tips (and ya most of you probably already know)

-Always meet people in coffee shops, mall, or somewhere that is very public.
-Never go anywhere without letting at least one friend know where you are going, no EXCEPTIONS!
-Anticipate where the date may go just in case he tries to pull a "new" place you haven't heard of.
-Better yet, if you have a sidekick, take that friend with you. It wouldn't hurt to get a second opinion on the guy?
-Probably never a good idea to leave with the person you just met; go to more dates first to feel out this guy.

It's more about being transparent with people who care about you so that you're safe, but also so that you can get different honest perspectives.

I honestly don't like online dating. I rather do group dates or meet someone who's going to my school. But here I am regardless. Just be safe and kick some a$$ when you have to.

Yu_Ki wrote: Well glad you are safe. I guess a few tips (and ya most of you probably already know)

-Always meet people in coffee shops, mall, or somewhere that is very public.
-Never go anywhere without letting at least one friend know where you are going, no EXCEPTIONS!
-Anticipate where the date may go just in case he tries to pull a "new" place you haven't heard of.
-Better yet, if you have a sidekick, take that friend with you. It wouldn't hurt to get a second opinion on the guy?
-Probably never a good idea to leave with the person you just met; go to more dates first to feel out this guy.

It's more about being transparent with people who care about you so that you're safe, but also so that you can get different honest perspectives.

I honestly don't like online dating. I rather do group dates or meet someone who's going to my school. But here I am regardless. Just be safe and kick some a$$ when you have to.

I completely agree with this especially the part about letting someone know where you are!

Peterhuchina wrote: Is he a real Chinese? or Chinese American ?
Most of the time, Chinese men and women are conservative.
Anyway,I am so sad to hear your story.

So you are implying that Chinese Americans are more likely to commit sexual assault than Chinese from China? Being from a conservative country has nothing to do with how likely it is for one individual to commit a sexual crime.

^^^Doesn't help that your name is Ben, but you make a great point.