So what is it that attracts you to the opposite sex?

Because I have my future wife, so I am quite pleased to meet her requirements.

not even close .... sad

Missywonder wrote: No one can meet my requirements. I am not complaining though ^^

I t's ok .

Her list of requirements is just a symptom of an issue that is so prevalent in modern society. We are programmed to believe that the person that is perfect for us can and do exist if we are only strong enough to never settle for anything less and persevere toward the end. Such attitude is dangerous and would lead many to remain single into their 30s/40s and many of such requirements will eventually find themselves settling for less with each passing valentine's day anyways. And even if she does find the guy who meets all her requirements, making a relationship/marriage work is not the same as building your dream house. Building materials are less fickle than the human heart.

It's a good thing I didn't state my opinion of her requirements, given the fierce debate going on here.

Ultimately though, I think one has to take personal responsibility. It's fine to have stringent requirements as long as one is aware how rare the person is who can meet those.

It does make one think that high barriers are erected (subconsciously or not) to make or prevent something one desires/abhors come true. I think it's called projective identification in psych terms. e.g. a woman wants to be single (subconsciously), so when she meets a man she really likes, she berates him and chases him away to make her self-delusion (oh, there are no good men left in the world) come true. In layman's terms, it's called self-fulfilling prophecy.

MagicMarker wrote: It does make one think that high barriers are erected (subconsciously or not) to make or prevent something one desires/abhors come true. I think it's called projective identification in psych terms. e.g. a woman wants to be single (subconsciously), so when she meets a man she really likes, she berates him and chases him away to make her self-delusion (oh, there are no good men left in the world) come true. In layman's terms, it's called self-fulfilling prophecy.

There were a number of psychology articles that talked about the underlying reasons behind people's tendencies when choosing a partner. It goes beyond "preferences" and does talk a bit about the factors that compels women... for example, to continually make wrong decisions even thought they know better sometimes. Like you eluded to, sometimes it's an issue of self-esteem or "self-image" and similar. I would post up the links, but 1) I'm not sure where they're at, and 2) it's an interesting read, but... potentially an upsetting one as well.

Good thought, though.

It's really a fascinating field overall - behavioural economics that is. The study of why people behave they way they do (irrationally). Ah... Nerdgasm...

I'd recommend Predictably Irrational to anyone, and heck, Freakonomics on top of that.

Problems arise (and hilarity ensues) when a woman acts emotionally rather than logically and complains about the outcomes when everyone can clearly see that what she did was irrational.

David Cool wrote:

Verdant wrote:

George1982 wrote:

tunglinhnguyen wrote:

George1982 wrote:
ps:I have been engaged, my future wife is an Asian, u can see my profile..

Good on yo bro! Don't know if you're from SEA, but long live to us ASEANS! HAHAHAHA.

Oh and, we don't really like to be tanned. We like to be pretty like those Jap or Korean boy you see on tv and youtube, or at least.. it's for me and my friends, lol.

PS: Good luck on yo marriage!

You mean tanned,brown,darker people are not pretty... just untanned people are pretty..

nope, bro, I mean everyone whatever the ethnicty it is , she is pretty..

Have you read "Superfreakononics"? I was tempted to pick that up yesterday.

Yup. Another fantastic read. Definitely did not disappoint compared to the first.

Also would recommend Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman, if you like a similar kind of book. But first read anything by Dan Ariely, and follow his blog!